Faking it

9 Aug

I’m tired of faking it.

I have yet to see the value in not being completely honest in our everyday lives. People are different. We have different ideas and opinions. That’s okay. It might not always be pleasant, but it’s okay.

How many times are you having a shitty day and when someone asks, “How are you?” and you feel compelled to simply say, “Fine,”? I hate having to lie in order to uphold some kind meaningless social nicety. The crappiest part of this kind of exchange is realizing what would happen if you actually said, “You know what? I’m terrible. I hate this day and nothing is going right,”? Shit would hit the fan and the other person would likely give you a dirty look and think ill of you.

I hate that!

What about when you have to pretend to enjoy something that is tedious, awful, and/or boring? Being in these kinds of situations actually makes me retch a bit. Of course I could have to hide that too.

When a superior offers an idea that is clearly ridiculous and ineffective, why do we have to quietly go along with it or risk losing our jobs? How is that serving anyone?

I’ve previously commented on the shittiness that is small talk. I think faking it kind of falls into the same category.

I don’t want people to ask me how my summer was when they don’t care and if I were to say, “I don’t feel like talking about it,” I would be labeled as a bitch or weird. Why? Because I’m honest? Because I don’t feel the need to converse about unimportant things?

How about when someone in your presence is behaving like an idiot, or worse, saying stupid things? Why isn’t it acceptable to say, “Hey, you’re a stupid jackass. Shut up!”? I mean really, how is letting an idiot have verbal free reign more socially acceptable?

When someone makes a terrible choice and you feel obligated to support them in their choice; I really hate faking that kind of support/happiness. 

I really hate having to pretend to like someone, or be nice to them even if they are the biggest prick in the room. I don’t like when people are fake nice to me. I’d much rather have someone avoid me or tell me to fuck off if they don’t like me than them faking congeniality.

Some will say this makes the world a better and nicer place. I wholeheartedly disagree with this assertion; I really think it makes people resentful and pent up.

The only exception to this is if you are given a gift; you should never show your distaste or displeasure with a gift or the giver.

Weigh in below on things you hate faking.

Advertisements

Yes, there are times when you should look like everyone else

4 Aug

As the opening of the new school year approaches (eww), I am doing what many teachers and parents are doing. I am shopping for new clothes for the year.

I hate shopping for clothes. I hate it. I suspect many parents do as well.

Each year I start the year watching my students. There is a giant disparity amongst them. Some of them have very expensive clothes, usually more than I can afford, and I see students with ill-fitting, ragged, and sometimes dirty clothes. The “haves” and the “have nots” are very visible at my school.

It is the most depressing thing. Typically the kids who have are more confident (though they necessarily shouldn’t be) than those who have not (again). The haves often make comments about the have nots and cliques form around clothing choices. It’s pretty shitty to watch.

I have long been a proponent of school uniforms for all of the reasons of lowering distractions, ease of morning routines, cost effectiveness, etc. Obviously, kids are largely against this, as are many parents. It’s no secret that clothing is a sign of status. Fancy clothes make people feel good and often superior to those who aren’t as well dressed. This is not okay or positive in an educational setting.

Kids and parents (usually the haves) will argue that kids express themselves and their individuality through their manner of dress.  To that I call bull because these kids are all shopping at the same stores and buying the same clothes. I can’t freaking tell you how many pairs of ugly fur boots dragging my classroom floor last year (dragging because kids don’t pick their feet up anymore). Those jeans with the jeweled butt pockets and camo Under Armour hoodies were everywhere in my building.

It’s no secret that uniforms minimizes distractions, rivalries, and even bullying. It reduces the glaring disparity between wealthy families and the less wealthy. It lessens the burden. When parents only have to buy 6-10 articles of clothing versus 15-20, it relieves a lot of financial pressure. Don’t forget that school uniforms cost only a fraction of a pair of jeans from The Buckle.

Basically, if kids want to stand out, let them do so by using their minds, not their glittery shoes.

 

 

Here comes the bride………again.

29 Jul

Courtesy of i305.photobucket

 

This is something that is seriously tacky and gross. The practice of couples getting married in a quick JOP ceremony and then having a “real” wedding at a later date is just classless and crass.

You should get married because you want to be married; tied to that one special person you can’t imagine life without. The marriage is about what comes after your wedding day, not the actual day itself. When people have a simple wedding at the courthouse or drive thru wedding chapel in Vegas, I think it’s great and a smart use of resources.  When those same people then plan a “real” wedding complete with the crying flower girl, dance floor, fancy dinner, and thousands of wasted dollars in ugly flowers and tacky bridesmaid dresses, it screams “Gift Grab”.

Spare me the reasons for getting married quickly, but still wanting a ” real” wedding. None of them will change my mind. If you want to get married and can only afford a JOP wedding, then have a JOP wedding and enjoy your lives together, or save the money to finance your dream nuptial ceremony.

It’s really a simple concept. Additionally, planning a “real” wedding is stressful and aggravating.

Just my piece and just like you, I don’t care what your opinion is on the matter.

 

Get your $&!^ together!

7 Jul

I have admit, sometimes being an adult blows goats, but if you are one you need to act like one. That means taking responsibility for your family, for your home, for your bills and commitments.

I am kind of a tightass when it comes to money, but you know what? We have everything we need, we have a decent savings (and still growing) and minimal debt. It wasn’t always this way since Man used to blow money like cocaine due to his poor impulse control. We are for the most part, past that thankfully.

Now because we’ve got our financial house in order, we can do things like buy new clothes when needed, buy that new lipstick or handbag. I can stock the freezer at Costco when I need to. We can do those things because we BUDGET for them.  I know not everyone has been taught how to properly budget, but at this point in history, with the internet at nearly everyone’s fingertips, ignorance is no longer a valid excuse.

Say the bulk of your household income comes in at the beginning of the month. I know it feels good to have a few grand sitting in that checking account, and it’s still good when after paying your bills for the month you have some leftover. Some people think, “Oh hey, I’ve paid all my bills and I have money left over, I am going to treat myself to something.” That’s all well and good if you have budgeted for the rest of the month for things like gasoline, groceries, medications, and just a bit of pocket money. When you splurge on your treat without preparing for the rest of the month’s necessities, you are stupid and irresponsible.

I think it’s great to be able to spend a bit of money on yourself when you have the extra in your budget, the thing is, you don’t have that wiggle room in your budget if all of your household’s real and basic needs aren’t met. Basic needs like food and medication.

When you follow the rules and basic common sense concept of budgeting, you may have to do without special treats for a while until you gain your footing, but in the long run you will be much better off and comfortable. You will also be responsible and respectable.

Basically don’t get that treat at the beginning of the month, if you aren’t 100% sure that you’ll have money for groceries three weeks later. If you fail to do this, you are an ass and will receive no sympathies from reasonable people.

11 Things

26 Jun

My brain is running wild. Be ready to be fascinated by and envious of my brain. 

1. Summer really is the best time of year. For teachers. 

2. There is really no better driving jam than “The Way You Make Me Feel” by MJ

3. I need to adopt all the dogs. 

4. Texas Senator Wendy Davis is the kind of woman I’d want my daughter to be. 

5. When people band together for a common cause, they do have power and despite Gov. Rick Perry’s (and his cohorts’) misogynist ways, the people will ultimately prevail.

6. My two-year-old niece upon seeing last weekend’s “supermoon” from my deck said, “Get it Lizzie, I want it.” That’s the most precious thing EVER!

7. I’m hammering the low carb lifestyle pretty hard these days and it’s soooo worth it. 

8. Paula Deen is taking a lot of ridiculous flak. 

9. Ambien is my best friend.

10. I talk to my dead dog. EVERY DAY. And it’s not weird. 

11. My Twitter friends are largely much more informed and intelligent than my Facebook friends. 

Eleven is my lucky number because I played Roulette at my kindergarten carnival and bet on eleven. It hit and I won a giant stuffed penguin. 

Guest Post: Career transitioning from military to civilian life

26 Jun

Thanks to Emma Banks @smileasithappens.blogspot.com for this guest post. 

Debunking Post-Military Job-Hunting Myths

 

Reintegrating yourself to the flow of every day civilian life is a universal struggle faced by all former military personnel. Though there are countless hardships you will face in your return from the military, many of them are not as difficult as you have been led to believe.

 

One of the primary concerns faced by individuals and their families upon their discharge from the military is the task of finding a new job in the civilian world, a world that is very different from the one that all soldiers and their families have come to know. When it comes to beginning your post-military career it is imperative that you develop the ability to see through the endless streams of myths that circulate around the dreaded task of job-hunting. To help you through this process I have compiled a list of what I believe are four of the most daunting myths when it comes to job-hunting for former soldiers and their spouses, followed by how each one of them is false.

 

Myth #1: The most qualified candidates always get the job.

Truth: This myth is exceptionally effective in discouraging veterans and spouses from even applying for some jobs because there are a lot of jobs within the military that do not provide very many essential job skills for the civilian world, and many military spouses spend years or even decades without a job while their spouse is enlisted. However, the notion that the only qualities companies look for in new employees are job skills is simply false. Robert Half International provided research to support this fact stating that, “46% of executives say they rely heavily on instinct when making hiring decisions, and 49% follow their gut at least some of the time.”

 

Myth #2: It’s too difficult to find non-military jobs after I’ve been in the military for so long.

Truth: While the change from military to civilian life is immensely difficult, it is a change that most veterans and their families will have to go through, and as such it is important to remember that as the difficult task of finding a job after the military is incomparable to the difficult tasks that you faced as a soldier or while your husband/wife was away on deployment. You should consider utilizing the services of a recruiting firm such as Recruit Military, where they offer help with writing resumes, online job boards, and host job fairs across the country.

 

 

Myth #3: Asking someone for a referral is time-consuming and annoys them.

Truth: While asking someone for a referral can be time-consuming, it is far less time-consuming than filling out endless applications which, without any references, are unlikely to ever elicit a response. Furthermore, if the people that you are considering asking for a reference from would view trying to help you as “annoying”, then those people are not people that you should ask for references from. In order to streamline the referral process, many companies have even started to partner with services such as JIBE, a mobile recruiting company that uses your social networking sites to connect to referrals.

 

Myth #4: The types of jobs a veteran can get are limited and hard to find.

Truth: There are no jobs that can legally bar someone from employment solely due to the fact that have served in the military, therefore, the types of jobs a veteran can get are exactly as plentiful and easy to find as the jobs anyone else can get. Furthermore, most companies are actually rewarded for hiring former service-members in addition the reward they will receive by hiring a veteran: a hard-working, dedicated, mature, and professional employee.

 

 

Emma is a mid 20-something year old with a passion for life, love, fitness, and helping others. She loves to be active and get involved in as many sport and community activities as possible. Emma is currently studying to become a Career & Life Coach, and loves to network with people from around the world! Check out Emma’s blog at http://smileasithappens.blogspot.com/

 

This has been one effing summer…

19 Jun

Man has been suffering from a terrible side effect from a medication, that unfortunately has a very long half life. This side effect took more than two weeks to correctly diagnose. I can’t tell you how many times we were in the ER, doctor’s offices, and umpteen calls to the nurse before the issue was finally diagnosed. 

This has basically consumed my summer break thus far. I am not sure I have ever been more exhausted than when we were in the thick of the symptoms a couple of weeks ago. Both Man and I were walking Zombies and he didn’t want me leaving his side, or the house. It was as if he was scared to be without me. That meant I wasn’t able to get out even to go to the grocery store. 

Anyway, he is seemingly on the mend and I have spent a few hours in my pool. We are starting to finish the work on our kitchen that I started last summer. I’ll be excited to have it completed. 

The rest of the summer doesn’t seem to hold much of anything to look forward to, but I will take low key over what we have had thus far.