This is what I will do

19 May

My heart and head are still reeling from the loss of Gidget, but I got her cremains back on Wednesday and she is sitting here on my desk. It’s nice to have them close. 

My heart is fragile right now. I need love and comfort and affection. My heart is angry right now. I need to yell and throw things and say some things I have been mulling around. I don’t have the courage or the strength yet. I’ll get there. 

In the meantime, I will write. I have resumed my personal journal writing and since school is out this week, I hope to be able to keep up with this blog a little better. I will write the things I cannot say out loud yet. I will write my dreams. I will write my plans. I will write my book. I will just write. 

I feel like there is a special place inside all of us, whether we want to use it or not, that gives us the kind of comfort that only we can provide to ourselves. I hope my place is large and full of infinite comfort. I will need it.

I have a list of things I’d like to accomplish around the house while I am on summer break, but I’ve already been told one of them is stupid; I am going to do it anyway. I know I will be spending a lot of time here in my office/pink room writing, reflecting, loving on Gretel and Viper, and crying.   

The only thing I know to do is to write. The answers and the comfort will come through my fingers, I just have to let them. 

 

Write

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One Response to “This is what I will do”

  1. Danielle 19/05/2013 at 11:52 #

    Love.

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