PSA to bicyclists on our roads

6 Apr

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Let me begin by saying that I live in the country. My house is on gravel and all of my neighbors and a good chunk of my family are farmers. It’s also April in Missouri. That means it’s planting time. Also because it’s April in Missouri, the bicyclists from the city, have decided to use our country roads, our payloads, as their own Tour de Stupide route. Our roads are generally flat and the only traffic is local.
Every non snowy season, which happens to coincide with farming, the cyclists, who do not live here and do not farm and most importantly, do not pay road taxes on their bicycles, invade our roads.
They take up precious road space used by locals and farmers in their trucks pulling anhydrous tanks and on their tractors and planters. There is not enough room on our roads for both the tractors and the morons on their bikes. The bikes are a danger to our roads and our drivers. The morons themselves are in danger. They stall traffic. They hold up the farmers trying to do their jobs. They piss off motorists with their refusal to get off of our damn roads. They usually don’t even move over because they are pretentious, entitled pricks.
The rule of these roads is and has always been to yield the right of way to the bigger vehicle. Morons on bikes seem to have missed that. More likely they haven’t a clue about them because they DON’T LIVE HERE! Yet, they are the first ones to cry foul when someone expects them to yield to a $500,000 combine.
It is about to the point where I’d like to start seeing farmers taking the cyclists out as in the picture above.
So, to all of you cyclists who have invaded our roads in northern Platte and southern Buchanan counties, go the hell away. You are not welcome here.
We don’t take too kindly to men in neon spandex around these parts.

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