I have a headache

23 Aug

Okay, so, I feel like I have been doing a lot of headbanging lately (not the kind made popular by Beavis and Butthead, either). I have lots on my mind, obviously. Lots of decisions to make. Lots of cleaning to do. Yes, cleaning. It seems like everywhere I turn there is a mess. A mess that I will inevitably clean up.

Now that may sound awful. Dog shit is gross, true, but I am good at cleaning stuff up. I am actually good at compassion and caring about people who need help. I am good at that stuff, even when it makes me want to ram my head into drywall.

I also feel like folks are judging me for what is going on. Some of them are cheering on my decision to divorce and some are asking questions. While appreciate them both, I’m genuinely not sure where I stand on the issue. Presumably, it’s the middle, given all headbanging. This is not a fun place to be. The excitement has dwindled. The reality is starting to set in, dog shit and all.

I don’t know where this post is going, just as I don’t know where my life is going. I am overwhelmed and confused with possibilities and decisions to be made. As I ponder said possibilities and decisions, I will keep banging my head into solid objects, just to make sure I still feel something other than anxiety.

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3 Responses to “I have a headache”

  1. Amanda 24/08/2011 at 06:54 #

    I know the feeling. Just remember that you have to do what is best for you, no matter where everybody else stands on the issue.

  2. bzirk 25/08/2011 at 19:40 #

    People who know even a little of what is going on will support any decision you make. And if they don’t, fuck em’. As you know, it is your life. Dog shit and all.

    • Elle 25/08/2011 at 19:42 #

      Thanks, Becky. I appreciate it.

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