Must love dogs, but not like that.

21 Aug


So, I’m getting divorced. I guess that means I am single, which is weird but pretty liberating at the same time. There is a lot of stress happening right now, so my friend and I were being ridiculous today and blowing off some steam. The conversation went something like this:

Friend: Do you ever think you’ll get married again?

Me: I don’t know, I am honestly not in any place to think about that right now.

Friend: Think you’ll go for another military guy?

Me: (With glare) Yeah, I don’t think so, unless his pay grade begins with an O instead of an E and he is PTSD free, then maybe. But, he would have to make the money. I’m not going down this enlisted road again.

Friend: (laughing) Of course. What else? Marry for money this time, marrying for love backfired on you.

Me: Clearly. I need a man who can either mow the grass, or hire someone who will and he must be able to fix shit without the use of duct tape. Requirements. Oh, and he must love dogs, but not in that way.

Laughter ensues.

Me: He also needs a big dick, but if he has a big enough wallet, we can compromise on the dick.

Friend: (trying to avoid wrecking car) So, to recap, he needs to be PTSD free, be able to mow or pay for a gardener, and fix stuff without the use of duct tape?

Me: Yes, and not sodomize my dogs.

Anyway, as you can see, I am not falling apart of this. Of course there have been some tears, and lots of sleepless nights, but I am going to be fine. Part of me will always love Z, but he made it clear it’s time to move on, so I am. My head is up and my future is bright and unlimited. Besides, in a year or so when I am ready to date again, I have my criteria all lined up for my online dating profile.


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