Things overheard on my first trip to Florida

11 Jul

As I sit here in the Tampa Airport, I am reflecting on the interesting weekend I just experienced. This was my first trip to Florida and while I realize it’s the South, I did not realize how ignorant people actually are in 2011. Also, people are just unobservant morons. Please imagine my face as you read each.

1. On my flight into Tampa, which was a direct flight from Kansas City, I heard a woman ask a child of ten or so, “Can you see the ground?” Child responds excitedly, “Yes! I see houses.” Woman counters, “Are we over the water?”

2. On the same flight, I heard, “I can’t wait to get to the hotel, I want to check to make sure there is a Bible in the drawer!”

3. Upon my arrival in Tampa, the shuttle driver asked me where I was from and I responded with, “The Kansas City area.” “Oh yeah?” he replies, “That’s near Denver right?” Me, “You’re not excellent at Geography, are you?”

4. A woman on the retreat, who was from NY, but currently lives in Alabama, asked our black shuttle driver if Florida was still segregated and if he had been on a “slavery tour.” (Heimlich maneuver was preformed on me following this.)

5. At a local grocery store, a young woman saw my WWW shirt and asked if my husband had killed anyone. Me, “Why, do you need someone taken out?” I shook my head and walked away. I didn’t share this one with the group because it was unreal and I was exhausted that evening.

6. Due to my corn allergy, I can no longer eat meat that has come from grain-fed animals. Asking a BBQ pitmaster (remember I am from Kansas City, home of BBQ and all things cow) if the beef was corn-fed, he said, “Oh no, they are grain-fed.” I shook my damn head, “Um, corn is a grain.” He looked baffled.

No worries, Yanks, the South is in no danger of rising again.



3 Responses to “Things overheard on my first trip to Florida”

  1. Heather 11/07/2011 at 08:09 #

    Love your reply to the girl about your husband killing someone…and remember Florida is not considered part of the South, being from Georgia we don’t consider Florida part of the true South so the not so smart people are down there lol…

  2. Uncle Sam's Mistress 11/07/2011 at 10:24 #

    Hey hey hey now! Maybe it was yankee transplants down in the south! Bahahhhhaaahaaa! This could be anywhere though. I’ve heard some doozies while in New York! I had to read this one out loud and man did we laugh! I LOVE the segregated comment. Jeez where has that lady been living? Under a rock? Hoping you found some peace out there in FL. Love ya!

  3. Barbara 11/07/2011 at 17:57 #

    Oh. My. Goodness! Was that at the pit stop begot he *finally* found the hotel??
    I agree with Heather, Florida doesn’t count as south. They are kind of like California – no region wants to claim them. 🙂

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