I’m about to be *that* neighbor

4 Jul

Yeah, it’s the 4th of July and shit, but it is also almost midnight, thereby making it the 5th of July. The damn fireworks in my neighborhood need to stop. I am one more boom away from calling law enforcement since fireworks are illegal in city limits.

I’m old and I want to go to bed. My dogs are freaking out, and frankly the sounds make me jumpy as hell.

Oh and excellent. Just called the county and there isn’t an officer up this far north tonight. It looks as though I am going to be that neighbor. I am going to step out in my tank and shorts, in all of my white trash glory and holler at them to knock it the fuck off. There is a solid chance my neighbors will out white trash me and there will be a brawl.

If you don’t hear from me in twenty minutes, call the Platte County Sheriff’s Department and ask how much my bail is. 


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