I am pulling my hair out

19 Apr

Figuratively, but not by much.

There are several reasons for this feeling.

1. I feel like I am floundering as a teacher. The end of the year is near and the kids have all effectively, “checked out.” Since I teach English, that means reading and writing. Guess what? Most kids, especially the ones I attempt to teach, dislike reading and writing. It seems like they just don’t care and I don’t matter. It pisses me off and I don’t know how to change it. I have come up with a project that I thought they would get right into. I was wrong, I am starting at square one with this project, I guess because it uses technology.

2. My house is in a constant state of disarray and I am not sure I care anymore. I do, but I don’t have the energy to keep up with it. The place is dustier than the Sahara and with three dogs, a husband who smokes and is messy and disorganized, I can’t win. Oh and did I mention the house has been partially torn apart for “remodel” since I have lived there (six years)? Mentally, I have checked out. My closet full of unused cleaning supplies can attest to that.

3. I am trying to eat better, less sugar and such and it’s so hard. I love my sweets. I also need to exercise and I am racking my brain trying to figure out where in my house, on the main level to put my elliptical so I will use it. Every room is just too damn small and that is frustrating as all hell. I just want my pants to fit better, dammit. And to not be embarrassed in a bathing suit.

4. This was a super lame post.


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