Dogs are better than people

11 Apr


It’s true. Those three up there, they’re mine. They are badass and they run my house. They run my house probably more efficiently than I could if given the chance and most certainly more efficiently than Zac.

Now, looking at this picture may lead to you believe they are lazy and you are thinking, “Uh, most humans are lazy too, how are your dogs better than them?” Because when they need something they get up and get it. Need a bone? They will get up and find it. Need to go outside when nature calls? They come find me and tell me. Need a drink? They go to their water bowl and drink up. The point here is my dogs and most dogs, follow their instinct. Most humans are too lazy to even do that.


This is Gidget. Gidget is my Queen B, and the B doesn’t stand for beautiful, though she is.  Gidget is seven years old and she is my baby. She is my protector and best friend. Gidget will rip the pair off of anyone who comes in unannounced or anyone who tries to get too close to me on a walk. She listens to me bitch, she listens to me cry, she knows my secrets and never spills them. She knows when I am upset and just comes and nuzzles me. She tells me it’s alright with her deep, brown eyes and soft ears. The dog has saved my life more times than I can count. Clearly, this dog is better than most people.


This is Gretel. Gretel is our accident. Most people have human accidents. Not us, we have canine ones and luckily canine accidents are so much better than human ones. Gretel joined our family in 2007 with a litter of ten Lab puppies. Gretel was a go-getter from birth and the proof of that is in her left, rear paw. She crawled away from the litter at two days old and got her paw stuck in the wires of the kennel, tearing her last toe away from the rest of the paw, ripping her Labrador webbing. The vet said she would fine but the webbing wouldn’t grow back and today, you don’t notice her wound. In fact, she was the first of the litter to have her eyes open, the first to walk, and the first to steal my heart.

Gretel was born and injured while Zac was TDY for several months. He was completely against keeping her when I told him about her, even with the wound. His exact words repeatedly were, “We’re not keeping a fucking puppy, Liz.” I kept explaining to him that no one would want her since she was not perfect. He didn’t seem to care. All of that would change in the fall of that year.

Zac was in a near fatal accident shortly after his return home. He was broken from the neck to the waist and sustained another TBI.  He was laid up for quite some time. During that time Gretel, the last puppy remaining in our care, started snuggling with Zac, keeping him company, even fetching things for him when I wasn’t around.

It’s now 2011 and she is known as Zac’s tumor. She helped him heal, not just physically, but emotionally to some degree too. She helps keep him calm when anxiety from the PTSD flares up and cheers him up when the depression hits.

Can a person do that? Fuck no; dogs are better than people, even me (mark that down, because I will NEVER again admit something is better than me).


Now for the levity segment, this is Viper. Viper is 120lbs of German Shepherd. He is also 120lbs of “special.” Yes, we call him our special needs child, no it’s not politically correct, but I am not running for office anytime soon. Viper was rescued by our friend, Josh Quimby when he was about six months old. He has been neglected and abused and was terrified of men. Today, he is an obedient, but extremely goofy dog.  He seems to always be smiling and happy, can you name five people who are always smiling and happy? No? Me either. Nothing seems to bother this guy. Give him a ball, take him for a walk and just love on him and he will shower you with cuddles and long, black dog hair.

Dogs are truly better than people at nearly every aspect of life. It doesn’t take much to make them happy and they are loyal and trustworthy. Most humans aren’t worthy of taking out my garbage, much less of my secrets.  Dogs listen to you and they listen to themselves. Dogs will take a chance on you even when humans won’t and they won’t let you down when humans will.

Dogs are better than humans. The end.

Oh, and before one of you morons says, “Oh yes, my cat Leon, is better than humans too,” let me stop you. No, he’s not.


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