What did you just say?

8 Apr

This is Chelsea. Chelsea is who I would be if I was famous. She is crude, she is bold, and seemingly she doesn’t give a fuck about what others say about her.

I like that.

Actually, I am like that and it is pretty liberating most of the time. I love shocking people. I do have manners, but sometimes my intelligence overrules my training. I think I might have Asperger’s. Yes, my mouth can be foul even though I know other words; my opinions are most always shared, popular or not; I have extreme self-esteem most of the time; and  I talk about other people, sometimes not so nicely.

Let’s talk about that last one first, shall we? I get embarrassed for people and I often tell them so. I don’t sugar coat things, especially if you are my friend. If your ass looks fat in white pants, I am going to tell you before we go out and make me look like a louse by association.  If I disagree with you, you will know it and you will likely cry. I was a champion debater in high school and college (insert cliche “master debater” joke here) and I like proving people wrong. I like to be right. Who doesn’t?

I have been asked the title question more than once in bars, clubs, stores, etc. after someone has annoyed me in some way. By some way, they could have merely walked by with their fat ass hanging out of their white pants and I commented.  The super awesome folks will cop attitude and ask, “What did you just say?” They expect me to sheepishly cower and when I repeat myself confidently they are shocked. Most have no reaction and walk away. I win. Kind of, because other people still have to look at the trainwreck as she  moves about.  People, I only say these things for good of humanity. Why can’t all people see that?

The fact is, I am generally always right and people don’t like that. Oh, wait, yes I do.

People don’t like me because I am fearless and they are scared, I am pretty and I work it and they are afraid to, I am smart and I am not afraid to show that either.  Truth is, some may label me a bitch, but that is a badge I wear proudly.


This post was tongue in cheek.



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